Ages and Stages
“Kids are like a mirror, what they see and hear, they do. Be a good reflection for them. ”
Have you ever been around a group of unruly, rude, self-centered, lazy children, and think… “If Big Mama was here she’d know just what to do to straighten them out.” These kids may even be yours.
Over the past several years there has been a noticeable shift in children’s behavior, some believe it’s directly associated with our current parenting styles. Our children are more entitled, anxious, disrespectful, lack grit and resiliency, depressed, and the list can go on. The news is not all bad because the new parenting styles have given rise to children who are empowered, risk takers, and can envision a life outside of the traditional roles and careers of a generation or two before. However, we need to adjust our parenting and incoporate some of the tried-and-true “Old School Parenting” strategies with some of the more innovative parenting styles.
If we are going to change these behaviors in our children …we have to “Get InTouch With Our Inner BIG MAMMA”, returning to some old-school parenting. Big Mamma used many discipline techniques to teach and guide. Disclaimer: I understand spankings were sometimes a part of the “Old School Parenting”, I am not suggesting anyone beat or spank their child…that can lead to abuse and only has short term, temporary effect anyway. We will explore how our parents and grandparents used dicipline instead of punishment to demanded respect, yet encouraged exploration, academic excellence, a sense of family and community, gratitude, respect for all and a belief in a greater power. We have to become intentional with our parenting and not just create catchy phrases like “children first” or ‘leave no child behind” but put actions with our words.
The 2-year lock down during COVID served to highlight the behaviors and the ineffective parenting styles we have adopted. I am not here to point finger or tear anyone down. We were all busy, had jobs, grocery shopping, extracurricular activities and the list goes on. We became distracted and inattentive to the real issues facing our families. At Accord Counseling I want to be a part of the solution. If you are seeking assistance with parenting issues please reach out and sign up for a free 15 minute consultation or to schedule an initial appointment
SIX ways to get in touch with your “Inner Big Mamma” and incorporate some Old School parenting:
1. Create an imaginary portrait of your child as an adult: Envision what kind of person you want your child to become. To accomplish this you will need to engage in “Intentional Parenting”
2. Talk the talk walk the walk… REALLY putting children first
3. Avoid the “Competitive Parenting Pitfalls”
4. Changing behaviors by first examining Discipline style to include: Model desired behaviors, Incentivized Positive Behaviors, Behavior Modification and the limited roll of Punishment
5. Education of your child is not only the job of the teacher and school. We must get involved and actively engaged in their education
6. Build a strong village. Raising children involves many in your circle of family, friends, and outside resources.
